We were both living in Guangzhou, China (The old name is Canton), a town about the size of New York City with a similar population, 10,000,000 or so.
She as a student, I, as a business person.
She had come to Guangzhou to study. Her hometown of Shaoguan was 4 hours away by bus or train. She was studying business English and was ambitious to improve her lot in life. She took every opportunity to improve her English and her knowledge of the world of business.
I had been divorced for over
25 years.
After the divorce, I became a single parent and raised three kids on my own.
In 1992, the kids graduated from college, so the nest was empty. I was
alone and free to do my thing. Whatever that was. (I still don't know what i will do when I grow up.) During the next five years, I bounced between Munich (Germany), Chiang Mai (Thailand) and Waco (Texas). In August, 1997, I accepted an offer from the Chinese government to teach International Trade in Guangzhou, China.
Sandy and I first met at an English Corner, in March 2003. This was four years before we married.
English Corners,
are informal gatherings
of (mainly) young Chinese
who seek
to improve their English Conversation skills. This English Corner met (for perhaps 20 years) in front of the Guangzhou library on Sunday mornings. It is free and anyone can come. It often draws around 50 people. Foreigners are more than welcome as this gives the young Chinese the opportunity to talk with real English speakers.
Sandy was very determined to improve her English conversation skills. So, on most Sundays, she and one of her roommates awoke at 7:30 AM to eat and then take the 45 minute bus trip into the city. The majority of Sandy's classmates lacked her enthusiasm and commitment and opted to sleep in.
For me, the English Corner was an off and on thing. When I was in Guangzhou, I preferred a quite Sunday morning of conversation to a boisterous Saturday night of bar hopping. As one of the few foreigners at the English Corners, I could listen to the ideas, logic and heartbeat of the new generation. Besides, it was a mere US$1 taxi ride from my apartment. Sometimes, I would arrange ahead of time to meet up with friends. After hooking up, we would lunch at a nearby noodle stand or wander over to one of the nearby antique or art markets. As many of the regulars knew me, a few were always eager to form a small discussion circle with me.
With Sandy & I, it was not 'Love at First Sight'. Rather, it was a long, slow, gradual process of seeing each other off and on, and exchanging greetings or a few words. We actually knew each other more than a year, (around 16 months) before we had our first date. In October, 2007, during Sandy's Green Card Interview in Honolulu, the US government official asked us who spoke first at our first meeting. Neither of us could remember, as the exact circumstances of our first meeting are blurred. We both thought about it a few minutes and agreed, Sandy probably spoke first as I would have already been in a conversation with another person and she decided to join in.
During the next nine months, we met off and on at the English Corner. At one point, I had given her my business card. Later, she took a few pictures and emailed them to me and to others. By then, I was back in Hawaii. Her email was a bit cryptic and unsigned. I wrote back, “Who are You?” and stated I would delete her email unopened out of fear of viruses, if she was did not clarify her identity. Embarrassed, she clarified things in her next email. I was then embarrassed for my harshness and promised to email her when I returned to Guangzhou.
In the spring of 2004, after my return to Guangzhou to attend the Canton Fair, we began to chat regularly at the English Corner. That May, I happened to be invited to a wedding in Sandy's hometown. I mentioned this to her. She said she would like to accompany me as a guide and translator and recommended I spend a few nights at her folk's home. This sounded great to me, so I said, "Yes."
After the trip, we met more frequently for coffee or shopping. Sometimes she accompanied me when I met with wholesalers or manufacturers. Sometimes the business activities were dinners or parties. Before we both knew it, we were a steady twosome and our romance began to blossom. It was a natural evolving thing that neither of us planned or anticipated.
By the spring of 2005, we were romantic. She was my full time business assistant and I asked her to move in with me. A year later, I asked her to marry me and relocate to Hawaii. This time, it was Sandy's turn to say, "Yes." -
The whole paper process took a year. In February 2007, Sandy got the necessary US visa and we flew to Honolulu.
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